BE OKAY IN LONELINESS















































(brigitte bardot on set)

            this picture reminds me of a time when i would play solitaire with a deck of cards. i was probably 10 years old and at the time, i lived on an island where i spoke their language funny and the electricity would often go out. i think this is when i really started to enjoy time to myself.

          i think it's important to feel just as special by yourself as you are with someone else. there's a video i've been watching at least once a month for the past couple years that reminds me of that, by andrea dorfman and poet tanya davis. distance from your closest friends and family can really test you. i still believe i have room to grow stronger. here i have a few notes that have helped me and maybe some will help you.

do something new. i think i often make the excuse that i just don't have the time, but when i think of my usual (downtime) routine: browse the internet, read and watch a movie--i know i can replace at least one of those activities once a day. i could even significantly shorten my time doing these things and make room for something else.

have a long shower or bath. i try to do this once a week. there's something soothing about water that just makes me feel happy, if you're happy enough - sing or hum too! on that note, don't stay inside when it rains. leave your umbrella and enjoy it.

experiment. have you had an idea you left in the back of your thoughts and kept it there because you weren't sure it was going to work? keep a journal and write all these ideas down. label the time these ideas would take. try to do these often. if one doesn't work, at least you had an idea and that's a wonderful thing to act on and keep in practice.

answer your questions. the internet can be a great place. take time to research whenever you are curious about something and don't know the answer. for example, how do you make your own chocolate, or what makes stars circular? knowledge is an interesting quality.

set a new world record. something you accomplished alone is surprisingly comforting.

start a garden. it's a process, but having your favorite fruits, vegetable and herbs right in your backyard is rewarding and most of all, good for you. taking care of something and watching things grow by your efforts - is enough to put a smile on your face. cook with your freshly grown ingredients.

pamper yourself. do all the things that make you feel your best. your favorite hairstyle, wear your favorite dress, put on your favorite shoes, paint your nails with your favorite color. take time to try new styles too. take yourself for a walk and take time to think of your favorite non-things in life.

take pictures. make your memories last and collect these moments on paper. frame something and you'll have a story to tell.

art. draw, paint, use a medium you've never used before. be thrilled by the new textures and practice. sew something. fix your clothes. take clothes that you don't care for and make something new.

decorate. make your space a space you love. you can always redecorate. start simple and add to your satisfaction. wake up in a place that will make you happy. declutter with the things you don't love.

dance. this is my only form of exercise, dance to everything and anything. dance seriously, dance silly, just dance! singing is encouraged but not necessary. make up a dance to a song. watch videos on different styles of dancing and learn new dances from around the world.

music. learn an instrument or keep practice with the ones you know. teach yourself your favorite tunes and make one new just for you. listen to new music and old music, discover more music that interests you.

language. pick up a language you've always adored, like french or maybe you like italian better. watch movies and listen to music in this language. pay attention to pronunciation and read and write in this language. maybe cook yourself something you've never tried before from their recipes. you might find a new regular meal. teach yourself all the accents you can find in your first language, it will make you an amazing storyteller.

magic. learn magic tricks with common objects. perform them for kids you know and meet at random times. if you get them good, their faces will be priceless.

contact your friends and family regularly. even making 5 minute phonecalls is thoughtful and makes it less of a task. check how they are, tell them a joke and wish them a lovely day. write letters to them and remember cards for holidays. remember when emails were once more exciting than something handwritten? have pen pals that are complete strangers.

explore a new place. go to local places you've never been to or take a bus to a completely new city or town. make your adventure. you never know what could happen, who you will meet, the conversations you'll have or the new things you'll find that you like. talk to strangers, if you have something good to say, say it. if you like his hat, say it. i bet you you'll make someone's day.

sleep. get the amount of sleep that makes you feel best, if that means a nap - take a nap too. keep a dream journal and write or draw what you remember as soon as you wake up.

take advantage. take advantage that you are alone and do the things you like to do but would feel uncomfortable with company. be as silly as you feel and laugh about it.

get a pet. i couldn't think of a more genuine companion. these creatures are caring and these creatures are innocent. if you can't afford a pet, be a pet sitter. can you think of a better second job?

be kind to your neighbors. make them a sweet treat or a bucket of useful items. say hello and wave instead of looking the other way.

donate. whether it's your change or time, make a difference in something you are passionate about.

set up a movie night. dress up to the theme of the movie. make homemade popcorn or cotton candy.

read outside. catch some sun rays and enjoy the breeze as you flip through the pages of your book. explore new reading spots. read at the library or a cafe.

start a blog. blog about whatever interests you. read blogs that interest you. let that person know when you enjoy something they post.

take time out. meditate. clear your thoughts and get back up again.

         above all, i think when you are happy with yourself, being kind to others becomes easy and that is a beautiful behavior that can really change the world.

ps: last week's giveaway is now closed and the winner has been announced!
x

8 comments:

  1. Oh this post is really awesome <3
    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/CoeursDeFoxes

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  2. I'm just letting you know that I really enjoyed this post :)
    Have a nice one!
    Merrily Merrily,

    Nini
    http://ninilopette.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. what a perfect post! i love pampering myself and taking long showers.
    so lovely!
    xo TJ

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  4. What a wonderful post Michelle! So uplifting and all so true, thanks.

    xxx Susie

    ReplyDelete